Crastinate

I should have seen the signs much earlier. It's been staring me in the face for years - perhaps it was denial on my part. But I've finally come to terms with the fact that my dog, Harriet, is a Republican.

Harriet absolutely loves people. People shower her with attention and provide her with all of the comforts of life. It's pretty easy to get Harriet to do something if you give her a treat. She is, of course, quite happy with this arrangement. The only time Harriet gets really upset at people is when they are threatening her borders: our front door and back porch, respectively.

Harriet is also very leash aggressive towards other dogs. While attached to me, safe and secure, she is constantly on the attack. She blusters and barks, daring any other dog to get anywhere near her or defy her will. When I take her to the dog park and she gets to run around off leash, Harriet always takes a go-it-alone approach, maintaining a respective distance from other dogs and only occasionally tolerating others. Harriet is a chickenhawk.

Harriet barks and lunges at buses with such violent ferociousness when we're out for a walk that strangers are often shocked and quickly walk the other way. Nor is her hatred directed at just buses - she is equally angered by commuter trains and motorcycles. She has no problem with cars, trucks, or SUVs. I've wondered how she was distinguishing among various forms of transportation and now I know: Harriet scorns environmental efficiency.

Harriet doesn't know where Osama bin Laden is and she doesn't seem to care.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dog, but that doesn't mean I have to share her politics or world view.